I'm NOT a Granola...and I'm not sure what to do about it....

Although I was born and raised in Utah, I've never been to any of the Utah National Parks. A few weeks ago, Mitch and I had a couple of days off so we packed up the car and hit the road for an impromptu road trip. Mitch and I are preparing to climb to the top of a couple of mountains and thought a hiking trip would be a nice way to break our legs in. We drove three hours south and spent the first night in Cedar City, woke up early the next morning and made our way to Zions National Park.

Zions National Park itself is beautiful. It is a geological wonder, and if you take a moment to really read the informative plaques strategically placed throughout the park you can learn quite a bit about how the natural formations were created. Mitch and I spent two full days hiking around the park. Because it was during the work week there were a lot of retirees at the park and more than a few Grandmas breezed by us as we strolled up the trails. Mitch and I pretended like we weren't fazed by being passed by “old people”, and to save face we took our time and explored and enjoyed the area. We took a billion pictures and had a really great time.

That being said, I am not here to talk to you about Zions National Park, other than to encourage you to visit, because it truly is a natural wonder. What I am here to talk about is pants-that-zip-into-shorts, and other (atrocious) hiking attire.

Mitch, who is not a Granola, proudly brought his pants-that-zip-into-shorts pants on our trip. He opted not to wear them (I'm not sure if it was because I giggled anytime he put them on or for some other, unexplained reason), so we both wore levis, short sleeved shirts and tennis shoes during our visit to the park. Although I felt we were both casually, properly dressed, we were, by far, the best dressed pair at the park. As I looked around me, people had on their hiking shoes, there were lots of pants-that-zip-into-shorts, special, fussy Columbia and North Face shirts, Camelback backpacks, Indiana Jones explorer hats, wool socks, North Face Jackets, hats that covered the head and neck and walking sticks. If REI makes it (and sells it for a ridiculous price), we saw it.

It's cool that the people like dressing outdoorsy, but Zions National Park is a simple park to navigate, and to me, most of the tourists had gone a little too far with their outdoorsyness. I can completely understand the extreme gear for those hiking the Narrows, but the majority of the people were just wandering around the park; wilderness attire really wasn't really necessary. Which brings me to my “bigger” problem.

It was my idea to climb to the top of Nebo and Timpanogos, and I managed to get Mitch,my sister Farrah, and her husband Dallas to agree to climb with me. As the hike gets closer, I am finding myself less stressed about the hike itself and more stressed about the pressure to dress like a Granola. The problem is, I am innately NOT a granola. I buy the majority of my clothes at Macy's, my shoes from Famous Footwear (I'm a sucker for their buy one get one half off sale), and I pick up my every day t-shirts at Target. I'm not a fussy gal, but I try to dress fashionably.

However, Mitch, who is also not a Granola, has been dragging me into REI and Dick's and making me try on “real” hiking shoes. He has spent hours looking up the proper Camelback for me so I have enough to drink on our hikes. Mitch is incredibly sweet, and he has offered to carry most of our “gear”, whatever that means. While I am so grateful for his help and his excitement for our hike, I am incredibly uncomfortable in outdoorsy stores, and I always feel really over dressed, even if I'm just wearing a t-shirt, jeans and running shoes.

I don't wear a lot of green or brown. I flat iron my hair. I wear some make up. I think you understand what I'm saying.

So what should I do? I genuinely find all hiking shoes to be incredibly ugly, and I don't understand why Merrill can't make ONE pair of their hiking shoes in black. Is there some hiking shoe rule out there that says hiking shoes must all be green or brown? I don't have any clothes that match my new hiking shoes, so I have two options, not color coordinate, or buy a new “hiking wardrobe”. Mitch says I have to buy a special shirt that absorbs my sweat. I have to have special wool socks, which has turned into quite an ordeal because I don't want my socks to come above my ankles and I don't want them to be crazy colors. Mitch found some special socks for me that met my special requirements and he gave them to me as a gift. Isn't he sweet?

That being said, Mitch genuinely believes I should get pants-that-zip-into-shorts.

Unbelievable!

I told my non-granola sister that Mitch says I should get these ridiculous pants and she said, “Oh I love my pair.”

Has the world around me gone mad?

When I decided to climb the mountains, I thought I would just have to physically train. If I had any idea I would need special shoes, socks, shirts, pants and a camelback, I might have kept my great idea to myself.

Why is this such a problem, you might ask? Because Mitch LOVES to take pictures. I am going to end up with 300 pictures of me crawling up a mountain looking like a Granola! He's gonna post the pictures on Facebook and the entire world is going to see me dressed in brown and green, and the whole world is going to think, “Oh, look at Mitch's girlfriend, she's a total granola.” I can't have people think that, especially strangers!

Oh dear, I'm afraid I have serious issues.

I'm gonna buy my hundred dollar shoes, and then with the advice from my friends, I'm gonna Bedazzle my shoes so they look pretty and sparkly. Maybe I will Bedazzle my hundred dollar Camelback, too. I can hear the other hikers now, “Wow, I really like your sparkly shoes, they are so much cuter than normal hiking shoes.” “Thanks,” I will reply. “They've been bedazzled.”

Oh my, what have I got myself in to?

So my Granola and non-Granola friends, am I making too much of this? Am I silly to not want ugly hiking shoes? Is it terrible that I find the-pants-that-zip-into-shorts unbearable? Did I take on too much instigating two mountain climbs without first learning I would have to change my wardrobe?
I'd love your feedback, I want to find out if what I am feeling is normal.

And poor Mitch! When we go shoe shopping for his shoes, he shows me shoe after shoe and asks me what I think about them. All I can do is look at him blankly and nod my head because the truth is I HATE ALL OF THE SHOES!!!

Why is it hiking shoe makers are unable to make cute shoes? I don't understand.

I think I need professional help.

Oh, I gotta go. I'm being taken to an REI Map and Compass class. If you don't hear from me next week, you'll know I got lost and obviously failed my wilderness resourcefulness class.

Stay tuned next week when I will discuss how two separate natural disasters nearly sidetracked my Spring vacation this year. It is a tale you'll have to read to believe.

Until then remember,

Life's a Journey, Take Notes!