Put the Phone Back Down!

So, you can't sleep at night because you've been thinking about that new special person you've met. You say you've lost your appetite? You can't concentrate on anything because you keep thinking about Mr. Perfect.

Isn't that cute?

Congratulations, you are the beginning stages of dating ,when things are hectic and strange and new and frightening but above all, exciting. You've got constant butterflies in your stomach. He (or she) is the last thing you think about at night and the first thing you think about in the morning. Every phone call, every text message, ever instant message, every email is saved and treasured. You can't help yourself, you really, really, really want to call this new guy and talk to him, to see what he's doing. You reason his voice would bring you comfort, and besides, you want him to know you're thinking about him.

DON'T PICK UP THE PHONE!!! STOP YOURSELF!!!!!

Please, take my advice. Do not call him, let him call you. This may be the best piece of information I could offer anyone in the cusp of a new relationship. I know, you've read this a million times in books and across the internet. I know, you are still thinking to yourself, “Whatever Kylie, it's not going to hurt anything if I call him, I will only talk to him for a minute.”

Trust me, pause for a moment and allow me to tell you why you should put the phone back down.

A while back I began dating a new guy named Max. Max and I had gone out a few times, and he was a nice fella. I will be honest, I wasn't crazy about him, but we had a nice time together. He was always talking about money which, was sort of a turn off to me, but aside from the obsession with wealth, he was nice enough. One afternoon while I was on a flight Max left a message for me to confirm a date. After I listened to his message, I called him back, aware that he was in class, and I left a message for him, something like, “Hey, it's Kylie, Friday will work great! See you then!” and then I hung up my phone.

As I drove down the road, I turned up the radio and Miley Cyrus' “Party In the USA” was playing. I couldn't help myself, I sang along, at the top of my lungs. Then, Whitney Houston's “I Will Always Love You” came on the radio, to which I also sang along, loudly. As I finished up, “and I-I-I-I will always love you . . . .” I remembered I needed to call my mom. I picked up my phone, and much to my surprise I had made a ten minute phone call.

My phone hadn't hung up. I had left a ten minute phone call of me singing at the top of my lungs on Max's phone.

I was mortified.

I only had one option. I had to call his phone back, break his security code and delete my voice message. I could NOT have him hearing me singing on his cell phone.

I called his number and pressed pound. I entered 1234 as his code. I entered 1122. I entered his birth year. His phone locked me out and hung up on me.

I called his number again and pressed 1111. I entered the last four digits of his phone number. I began typing in random numbers. Again the phone locked me out.

I hung up and tried again, typing in random four digit numbers. Again, the phone locked me out.

I decided to try one final time. Of course I couldn't guess his secret code. After all, that's why it's “secret”.

I contemplated my many errors of judgment. I had called Max's phone five times, one message was me singing for ten minutes, the other four calls were made within three minutes of each other.

It took me a while to calm down. All I could do was wait to hear back from him to see how crazy he thought I was.

Two hours later the phone rang.

“Hello?” I said.

“Hey, I noticed you called me like five times in ten minutes. That's kind of weird.”

“Oh, sometimes my phone sometimes calls random numbers, I'm sorry,” I said.

“Yeah, well about Saturday...”

“You need to cancel?” I asked.

“Yeah, I need to cancel.”

I knew where Max was coming from. A few months earlier some guy had called me 56 times in one day between 9 am and 5 pm while I was at work. It freaked me out.

Needless to say, Max and I never saw one another again.

So gals...and guys.... you can learn many lessons from my mistake Girls, resist making the phone call. Guys, don't be funny about making the phone call. Everyone should resist making five phone calls in ten minutes. It's a bad idea to try to break into someone's voice mail. Never, ever, ever, for any reason call someone 56 times in eight hours. If you must sing in the car, make sure you aren't calling anyone. Follow these simple rules and you'll thank me in the long run.

If you have any funny or embarrassing phone call experiences, I'd love to hear them. Post here, or you can always email me at kylie@kylieklein.com if you don't want the entire world reading your mistakes. As always, feel free to friend me on facebook.

Until next week, remember, life's a journey, take notes!